I thought I had been hacked.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and I opened my laptop to log in to one of my online accounts. I typed in my information like normal, but instead of getting into the account, I got a message that said, “Access denied.”
I’d like to tell you I prayed in that moment, but that is not what happened. I panicked.
My mind immediately went to the worst possible scenarios. Did I do something wrong? Did someone get into my account and change the username or password? I tried logging in over and over again, but nothing worked. Eventually, I found the tech support number, but since it was the weekend, all I could do was leave a message and wait... which may have been the hardest part.
There’s a sinking feeling that comes when you suddenly lose access to something important, especially when there is nothing you can do to fix it. Thankfully, tech support eventually called me back and said everything was okay. They knew what was wrong, and I had not been hacked.
Afterward, I started thinking about how there are times in my faith when I can feel something similar. There are days when God feels distant, or I pray and wonder if my prayers are getting through. And if I’m not careful, I can let what I’m feeling in that moment convince me of something that is not true.
Maybe God has pulled away. Maybe I did something that created too much distance. Maybe somehow I have lost access to Him.
But Romans 8:38-39 reminds me what is always true: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, or anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
That means God’s love for me is not fragile. It is not dependent on a perfect day, a perfect prayer, or a perfect feeling. I may have moments when I feel distant from Him, but that does not mean He has locked me out or stopped loving me.
Because of Jesus, I have access to the Father. And nothing in all creation can separate me from His love.